Preventing Self-Harm

You may have known someone in your life who accidentally self-harmed themselves. Tripped down stairs or fell off a bike. Accidents, in the Western mind are “events that we had no control over.” And then you might also witness someone doing self-harm that is not accidental: Eating poorly, being corrupt, stressed or having no exercise regime or too much exercise regime. It’s hard to watch and stay silent.

In law, ignorance is no excuse. You can say “well your honour I didn’t know that there was a stop sign” but that doesn’t change your judgement, you went through a stop sign and your duty of care to the public is to see them. Otherwise ignorance becomes bliss, and we know it’s not.

When I look out on this beautiful planet I see people self-harm and send my affirmations out to guide them out of it. But ignorance is bliss for most “ordinary” people. They don’t link cause and effect. They rather wait for the result to be less than what they expected, or worse, a disaster, before considering the self-harm they may have been able to prevent.


Anger comes from it’s root emotion, hate, and is very self-harming. projected at a child or family member it is the cause of enormous dysfunction in the targeted person by triggering in them a doubt about the authenticity of the love that will be offered in extreme to succour forgiveness. This bipolar attitude on the part of the deliverer of anger is also a terrible self-harming state and can be equated to carving a slice through one’s forearm with a razor blade. A terrible chemical concoction is created in the human body, that always arrives in the digestive system: bowel, stomach, intestines (big and small), mouth, anus, bladder, kidney, liver, spleen. Self-harm because anger is a preventable state. There is no need for it and yet, many, many, many people, including parents deliver it and get the consequences in their own body. Anger – with its partner hate, have subtle forms of expression that are similar to that stop sign we mentioned earlier. Ignorance is no excuse.


Frustration is anger and hate combined into a chemical weapon of self-destruction. A frustrated individual is a nuclear toxic dump and will express this chemical onto all the do and feel. It’s a tension that is meant to reveal an unhealthy state of mind but for many it’s a green light to judge, criticise and blame others for the disturbance. Frustration is an early warning alarm that hate and anger are welling up and that self-harm is imminent. But for the “average” person, where ignorance is bliss, Frustration is a badge of honour. In spite of the awareness that their digestion is off, and their enjoyment of life is less than optimum, they are proud to fight on, wrestle the crocodiles that are the source of their frustration and “boast” to friends about their tenacity or even echo their frustration in a form of righteousness. A stand against a foe. In this way, people self-harm but the impact is more subtle, frustration takes weeks instead of days as in the case of anger, to reveal it’s more sinister side. The self-harming consequences of frustration are: tiredness, exhaustion, short tempered, agitated, loss of libido, rudeness, loss of presence, demagnetised, lost self trust, doubt, insecurity and self-rejection. All of which have catastrophic consequences both within our body and outside of it in the body of life we create. Loss of income, lost trust from family, breakdown in relationships and poor performance reviews at work are some of the self-harm impacts of frustration. Internally to the body, the immune system, the nervous system and the lymph system are highly degraded by frustration. Frustration is a subtle tension that prevents the body from evolving and recovering. It therefore leads to substitutes like sugar, carbs, alcohol and chemicals such as sleeping pills and anti depressants all of which have self-harm at their centre.


At first, the Anger-Fear partnership is not so easy to understand. But they are partners and cannot be separated. Does fear cause anger, does anger cause fear you might debate. And it’s this debate that allows Fear to stay “acceptable” by the “ordinary” and ignorance is bliss individual. Anger and fear are inseparable. Either we are angry at the source of our fear (blame) or angry at ourselves for having that fear. The anger is not so much a result of the fear, it is more the pre-existing requirement. Nothing comes from nothing. If we do not have embedded anger, we cannot be angry and fear will dissipate. Fear exists as a primal instinct. Fear is not a bad thing. But an unconscious fear is a life altering self-harming driver that will make all that is manifest through it, corrupted. Fear of being fired at work, fear of being single, fear of death, fear of sharks, fear of heights, these are not universal feelings. Those, just to name a few, are the present time consequences of parenting that involved frustration and anger as a motivating force. Fear of death is a known repercussion of a fear of life, and turns the genius into a passive bystander of life. Fear of failure is a known repercussion of the deep fear of rejection, a side effect of anger based parenting (often expressed through more subtle contact). Either way, fear and anger have deep self-harm associated with them: they attract in the outer body of life abuse, negativity, rejection, criticism, judgements and diminished work opportunities. On the inner body fear and anger lead to such self-harm as cancer and other autoimmune breakdown, mental breakdown and insomnia. All of which have extraordinary secondary impacts such as obesity and lost concentration, which many “normal” people treat with pills or holidays: neither work.


Anger sits in many shapes within the self-harming habits we can adopt as “normal.” Many couples fail in their love life because one or both individuals are too obsessed with self-harm to clear their own mind and instead use the relationship as “cheap counsel.” Bringing worry to explore with our partner is self-harm at it’s most sinister level. When we say we “WANT” something and then act to “SABOTAGE” it, we begin to function at that state in which the conscious mind “WORRY” overrides the subconscious mind “LOVE” to create a war within. This war is SELF-HARMING and there is nothing subtle about it. To say we “WANT” something and then not act to cause it is the destruction of self respect, self love and self confidence. We can say “I don’t want” this relationship, then bring worry for “cheap therapy” and this is authentic. Or we can say “I do want” this relationship but then we will not self-harm with worry. Worry, is a Western side effect of ambition but ambition is an essential part of Western life, it is a key to success. The contradiction is resolved with those often taught paradoxes of “Adaptability” – “flexibility” – “realistic expectations” and “goal setting.” All of which can be gathered together to one single philosophy “Order in the Chaos.” We worry when there is disorder, and disorder is ignorance on the part of “the ordinary” individual who is unprepared to “change the way they see things.” While this may seem to be an over simplification of the complex topic of worry, it isn’t. We live on a planet, one of trillions in which there is order and we might admire it through a telescope, wow. But the universe of our own life may appear to be a mess. It can’t be. It must be part of that universe we see through the telescope, and therefore ordered. Can we see it? Sometimes not, and when we do not, we worry. So what is worry but the inability to be thankful and this single experience has massive self-harm side effects. On the outer body nobody wants to work with, invest in, partner with a worried ungrateful individual. That’s not even a subtle experience. Nobody dates the negative person unless they too are of the same mind. But to the individual themselves. there is only one statistic we need to mention and that is “90% of people do not die of old age” they die from the stress and side effects of worry, with the negative ungrateful feelings it creates internally.


I could continue writing. But I won’t. I will spare you language such as “self-sabotage” and “slow-suicide.” And explaining why so many “normal” people indulge in “self-harm.” However, I must wrap up this conversation with a few “heads ups.”

  1. I recommend you write down and therefore know what you think you want in life.
  2. I recommend you write down and therefore act the mindsets and behaviours that will achieve those things you wrote in 1.
  3. I recommend you take any feeling that is not “love for life” including your work, your fellow human beings, the planet, your ex, yourself and put it as grist for the mill, either by diligent commitment to discard forms, emotional showers, and mind control skills that are all over Innerwealth web site free (see E-Learning) or by affirmation and visualisation and turn any emotional negative response to life to a positive order within the hour you first have the experience or feeling. Do not give it wings by waiting half a day or more.
  4. I recommend that you do a daily “self-care” regime that is routine, regular, unchanged, fixed, simple, time efficient and targeted to only one outcome: your open loving heart. Because you know as I do, that this is the only known state that prevents the darker side of “ordinary” and “normal” lives that engage in unconscious or deliberate self-harm.
  5. I recommend you beware of knowledge about life that you can’t implement, practice and experience. Knowledge without application is, without doubt, a great way to mask the reality of anger, frustration and worry. The real test is the joy, happiness, calm of those who surround you.

With Love and Wisdom,


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