How to Not React to People

Posted in   All Posts Innerwealth, Better relationship   on  July 24, 2023 by  Christopher Walker ,  

We often talk about doing discard forms and emotional showers and things to keep our headspace in a healthy place as we go through life, and it evolves us because we learn things as we go. But as many people will say to me, it takes a lot of time and energy to do a discard form and an emotional shower.

So getting good at these things becomes really critical. And the time to get good at them, of course, is when you don't need to do them. And so maybe a couple lines every day is just a healthy way to stay. Bouncing the basketball just in case something really serious happens, or we get confronted by something.

But the most important thing when it's when we're talking about doing discards and emotional showers is that we're very, very rarely after the 30 day challenge, and after we've done a couple of major discards, we're very rarely doing a whole person. What we come to realise pretty soon it's the it's like something somebody said, or something somebody did that's causing us trauma, and we very rarely take the whole package and throw the baby out with the bathwater and say, I don't like that person.

What we quite often learn to say bit by bit is I don't like that aspect of that person, or I don't like what that person said or I don't like what they did was smart enough as we grow long enough in the Inner Wealth work not to package them all up in one. So it becomes important how to do a discard in regard to something somebody said or something somebody did. So the clumsy way to do it would be to identify what they did, and identify and then go and do a discard on that. The smart way is to identify what they did and why it caused you reaction why it triggered you.

So for example, somebody told a lie, you can go okay, I'm going to do a discard on people lying. But the question is most important to flip that upside down and say, what is it I don't like about that? And what you're going to find typically if you were lied to, or you lied to somebody in the past, and you've promised yourself you wouldn't do it or you've promised yourself we wouldn't let people do it. You you will have been the event that took place by that person. will reignite or trigger you about that.

And so, you know, you might say, well, I don't like being lied to because if I feel this disrespected or I feel belittled, or I feel like people are not taking me seriously, and that's the meat that you got to get to by peeling it open and going down to the tiny little kernel that's like the stone in your shoe that stopping you enjoying a 12 day trek in the Himalayas because there's one tiny little blister or one tiny little stone in your shoe. And you'd grab that stone and you get it out of your shoe. But it's not just going that's what it is. You discard it you emotionally share it, so that you you learn from it.

And you unlearn whatever it is causing you to be triggered. And then you act, you don't react then you act on it. Rather than think you're going to do a discount on a whole person which is going to take you hours and hours. And I think totally mostly unnecessary after you've done the 30 Day Challenge and done a really couple of really big hard hit emotional showers on some fairly significant people in your life.

This is Chris, you have a beautiful day. Bye for now.

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