MIND NOISE – JUDGEMENT

WE judge others in order to be safe. But it’s not. Every judgement we make locks us into a cycle. WE judge in others what we don’t like or love in ourselves. A vicious circle. Career or Lifestyle … your choice is limited…. let’s explore…

TRANSCRIPT

00:01 Well, good day. Self-hate. It’s all gone, hasn’t it? You’re back on track. You realize how damaging self-hate can be to a person. 00:13 And now we are sitting here today talking a little further down the track about my noise and about one big hairy gorilla, and that’s called judgment. 00:26 We’d never judge another person more than we judge ourselves. And sometimes judgment is the only way we can feel safe. 00:34 We say he or she did this to me. I judge them as being bad or mean or cruel or vindictive or nasty or wrong or right, or whatever. 00:45 It’s, and we think we are making our world safer by judging others. And whether it’s biblical teaching or Buddhist teaching, or Hindu teaching or Quran, judgment is the devil in disguise. 01:02 Judgment is basically saying my watch tells the right time. And if you don’t do, and if your watch tells a different time, you are wrong. 01:13 Judgment is a really cruel thing because there are unlimited things we can find to judge people. We can judge them for their size, their height, their diet, their economics, their commitment to work, their commitment not to work, their divorces, their behavior. 01:31 We can judge them for being law abiding or not law abiding. We can judge a person for being successful and failing. 01:39 Ultimately all of those judgements come from a single source, and that is righteousness. And righteousness is the source we go to in order to try and feel safe. 01:51 So, righteousness, unfortunately, if I can go to the root cause of righteousness, always sits over the top of righteousness. So there’s no righteous person on the planet preaching how good they are compared to how bad other people are, who isn’t filled with the doom and gloom of being wrong. 02:12 And so we mask up with righteousness. We say, I’m right, you are wrong. I’m clever, you’re not I’m good. You’re bad, I’m smart, you’re dumb. 02:21 And you find a lot of people who have come out of warton environments rebuilding their sense of identity, move to righteousness as a survival mechanism, move to righteousness as a a curative place for damage that’s been done to them. 02:42 And I think we could say, whether it’s an individual or a country or a nation, that righteousness helps to overcome the infliction of of a cruelty. 03:00 I’m right. They’re wrong. And if you go to court and you prove you are right and they’re wrong, you’ll get compensation. 03:06 And if you go to business and you say, I’m right, they’re wrong. You’ll maybe get a product. However, we have to realize that this is not a foundation for long-term living. 03:19 The judgment and righteousness, which comes hand in hand with it, is not the foundation for a happy, healthy lifestyle. So let’s talk about lifestyle for a minute and why judgment would become a mind noise inside someone’s brain to make them think that, that actually by judging another person, they are enjoying life more. 03:43 So all human eyes are turned to the future. And if I say to somebody, what are you looking forward to in the future? 03:54 I can hear a a million different stories. I’m looking forward to having children. I’m looking forward to holiday. I’m looking forward to the end of the week. 04:03 I’m looking forward to a new job. I’m looking forward to changing my boss. I’m looking forward, I’m looking forward, I’m looking forward. 04:10 And as long as there’s something in that script that person’s safe, as long as they’re looking forward to something, the minute a person goes, I, I don’t know what I’m looking forward to anymore hope is sunk. 04:26 And all the higher derivatives of hope, which leads to love and inspiration are sunk with it. And so as a protection mechanism, when we run out of looking forward to going to work, looking forward to building the business, looking forward to building our career, looking forward to being an artist, looking forward to the joy of inspiring others. 04:51 It it, it is definitely the core of every human being. Is their work looking forward to achieving something in their work greater than an income. 05:05 To do that, we need a lifestyle that supports the work. And so it can become confusing as to whether we work for the lifestyle or we lifestyle for the work. 05:19 And I think this is a fork in the road for many people that they unwisely choose lifestyle as the fork to take. 05:29 The one thing about lifestyle as being an ambition, looking forward to a bigger house more fun on the beach, looking forward to living somewhere different. 05:37 Looking forward to having more swims, more tennis, more whatever, more wine, more fun in the garden, more barbecues, more time with the kids, more, more partnering. 05:52 The problem with all these things is they’re incredibly short term gratification driven. In other words, if you buy a new house, but the neighbors become noisy, your choice of lifestyle has been disrupted. 06:06 And therefore it has, it only lasts as long as the honeymoon period will let it. We know that all pregnancy or fertility, male and female comes from infatuation. 06:19 And so when we infatuate something, which means we, we really throw ourselves at and look forward to it with, with great gusto, we become fertile and we become fertile. 06:32 Whether it’s buying in your house or new relationship or going for, for a date night or whether it’s having a baby or whether it’s a, a new career. 06:43 So the question now becomes, when it comes to that fork in the road to choose lifestyle and go and work to get the money, to have the lifestyle, or whether it’s to do the work and with the money, build a lifestyle, that fork in the road is a very, very important fork. 07:01 If lifestyle becomes the choice, judgment becomes its friend. Because judgment is the only way. When we, when we default in a lifestyle choice to like everything we do, whether it’s livid, Bondi Beach, go to the beach every day and meet all the interesting people and have this creative, beautiful, amazing environment. 07:22 Everything has its dark side. And so judgment is the way we try to hold onto and grip tight on the infatuation of a lifestyle choice. 07:35 We try to exclude or, or preclude those things that might damage our lifestyle choice. And so we can only judge more and more and more and more and more. 07:47 That’s down that path, the career path, which is to give more, to serve more, to create more, to share more, to, to build more and get remunerated for it, which is how we can sustain our lifestyle. 08:06 Doesn’t have judgment in it. In fact, to do more work, to give more work, to build a bigger business, to build have a bigger team. 08:15 To build a greater career, we have to judge less. And so one path, the lifestyle path leads to judgment. Even if it’s a yogic path or a meditation path, it’s a lifestyle choice with work going on to fund it, that leads to judgment. 08:35 If we go down the career path, the higher up in our career and the more we want to do for others, and the more we want to build the business, and the more people we employ, the less we judge. 08:47 So one requires increasing consciousness, one requires a decrease in consciousness, lifestyle choices, sea change, green change, happy change looking for life, ba all these lifestyle choices that are funded by our job always lead to disappointment unless we judge, unless we remain infatuated, unless we remain triggered into trying to exclude reality from those end choices. 09:17 The career on the other hand is if we don’t let go of judgments, we do not go to the next level of business. 09:24 And if we don’t go to the next level of business, we will get punished badly in the workplace. Punished meaning we will get left behind. 09:32 We will get the s**t jobs, we will get a bad boss. We will be complaining bitterly that, you know, things aren’t what they used to be. 09:41 And boom, we, we, we achieve a, a level in business that we thought we were capable of. And boom, if we don’t let go of judgment, if we don’t process our judgments of others, that we work with others, that we work for others, that we coach others that we serve with our product. 10:01 If we don’t process our judgments and reduce our level of judgment, we get stuck. So the two paths are binary. 10:12 You, there’s people who get to a point in their career and they go, any more work will ruin my lifestyle. 10:18 So hereby I hereby choose lifestyle over the work. I’m going to just try to survive to the end and get as big a pension as I can. 10:28 That’s a lifestyle choice. Then there’s another group that says, well, I’m gonna work really hard, but I want to manage a quality of life that sits underneath that work that supports the work. 10:44 The example I give for this is one I love, and that is a story of the Rolling Stones. M**k Jagger, they’re billionaires, those guys, they don’t have to do another concert in their life. 10:55 And yet, every now and again, every year or so, in spite of the fact that they could retire forever, these four guys are now three with a new replacement. 11:06 These four guys jump on the bandwagon, go up to somewhere like Toronto and rehearse for six months in preparation for yet another world tour. 11:20 If lifestyle was the choice, that 12 months hiatus between gigs would end up being two years, three years, four years, five years. 11:28 And they’d end up like most performers do, who, who surrender their career and enter into the world of lifestyle. They’ll end up seeking pleasure from more and more vulnerable environments like drugs or alcohol or whatever. 11:48 And when they get into those difficulties and start to lose the grip on reality and their lifestyle, and it goes down and they loo put on weight, they’re very often encouraged to get back into their career. 12:03 Now, you don’t have to have that experience. You don’t ha you can listen to Chris and you can go inner wealth advocates that we find our purpose, find our working thing, find a career that’s worth paying the price for, but the Rolling Stones don’t do what I’ve just said. 12:18 The Rolling Stones go to, for example, Toronto, they hire a warehouse and they rehearse a three hour show for six months. 12:28 Now that is as boring as batt every single day, same old, same old, getting it better and better and better so that they finally can go onto it. 12:36 But what M**k Jagger will do and what the rest of the Rolling stones Keith Richards and the gang will do is they will take their chef, their family, their masseuse, their psychologists, their coach, their gym work. 12:49 They will take a band of people with them to make sure the quality of life they have, even in a foreign place like Toronto, while they work hard on their thing, their quality of life saves five star. 13:03 Now, this is a lesson we can all learn while you build your career. And when they ring up and say, I’d like you to work hard today when you thought you had the day off, do you sacrifice the quality of your life? 13:16 Do you give up the morning walk? Do you give up the run? Do you give up your disciplines? And do you throw that all out and say, ah, damn, I’m gonna do this day’s work because I have to. 13:25 Or do you say, I’m gonna do this work because I love it and I want to succeed in this thing and I’m gonna do it really, really well, but I can’t sustain that work without quality of life. 13:40 Now that means diet, it means exercise. It’s all the back on track. It means your daily discard forms. It’s your process, your self-talk, your vision board, all the things we talk about in back on track, which give you a daily lifestyle quality that is sustainable to support your career. 14:02 These are chalk and cheese. These are so far apart. And you see people who run out of joy for life. 14:08 You say to somebody, are you looking forward to next week? And they go Only if it’s on holidays. And I think that’s a really, really sad end to a, to a hard to hard work and, and and ambition to say, I’m not looking forward to next week unless it’s a li a holiday. 14:27 I would encourage you to think about this. I would encourage you to say, how can I make next week a holiday when I go to work? 14:36 How can I have I be rehearsing in Toronto doing something very, very difficult and yet immerse that and infl that and imbue that with the thing that makes life really joyful. 14:52 Some fun, some relaxation, some good food, some joy, some love some family without trying to suck all those things from your workplace. 15:03 Too many people go to work hoping that all the things they’re missing at home will come from their job is, doesn’t work like that. 15:12 A lifestyle that supports a great career has all the emotional, joyful, fun expression, creativity has all the stuff we need to have a full, rich, diverse emotional career so that you can go to work and do what you’re paid to do and do what you’re born to do, and do what you would love to serve without trying to suck more than money out of it. 15:40 This is Chris. You have a great day. Bye for now.

    Subscribe to my newsletter and be inspired