Episode 85. Forgiveness is a self righteous illusion. Brought to you by the universal law number 1. The law of balance.
when a person is at the bottom of the consciousness comb and operating in almost a primal state of emotion and mindset, forgiveness is a great step away from that primal state of anger or escape. If somebody has triggered and emotion and we are in a primal state of fight flight then forgiveness at least moves us up to the next second most primal state, should do.
in most religious teachings, which are all based on this level of should do, the objective is to move people up to the next level which is need to. Most religious teachings are subscribed to by people who are addicted to the level of should and for them, need to or even want to is called love. And in religious teachings forgiveness is a very important element to raise people app from their most primal behaviour, got to, up to at least should do, and maybe in very high religious open-mindedness all the way to, need to or even want to. Maslow considered this the highest achievement in human development. Religions on the other hand were afraid of people becoming too self actualised. And so, need to is a very high aspiration for religious teachings.
And so forgiveness is a very important part of the lives of those living in this lower level of consciousness. At Innerwealth we aspire to live in the top three realms of human consciousness and to work through the bottom three levels whenever we rise up in growth into the next cone. Therefore forgiveness rather than becoming a part of our daily life becomes a block. Let me explain why.
to forgive somebody is to be very powerful. You are in a sense, by forgiving them, holding your judgement as being absolutely correct, and their behaviour as being absolutely wrong. Given what you know about the universal laws, you will know that no such place exists in the entire universe except in the emotional perceptions of a righteous mind. These emotional perceptions of a righteous mind key people in the got to and should do levels of consciousness. And so rather than evolve up through their perceptions people become married to them.
so in this way, forgiveness is an illusion. For this reason I very rarely apologise. I would rather say to somebody “what’s the benefit.?” This for me is the real question of my behaviour that did not comply with their expectation. Of course, when I am dealing with a very self righteous person and I have an investment in remaining on good terms with this person so that I can continue to coach them I might apologise so that they can relax and continue the coaching. And like many of the things we do to help other people, sometimes we are and need to be, able to demonstrate that we can operate in lower realms of consciousness in order to gain communication and trust.
one of the things that really surprises me about living in the higher realms of consciousness is the necessity to prove that you have not risen to such a place by rejecting the lower realms of consciousness but rather by mastering them. As an example, I live in Bondi and I have a huge exposure to the community. In Bondi there is no chance to isolate from the community because there is such a small and tight environment on the beach that we are always bumping into the same people they after day. In this community there is such a broad diversity and spread spectrum of human consciousness and each time I say hello to somebody I am given, through nature, the opportunity to judge or to love. In this sense I am tested. If each and every person we meet is simply a mirror of some aspect of ourselves, we do not run away from our lower self we just learn not to follow it in our emotional, relationship, perception and direction in life.
At a more professional level, because my business works purely on referral, I am continually working with a broad-spectrum of human consciousness at the beginning and then helping, through coaching and teaching to raise people up and give them the tools to live and work in higher consciousness. I don’t promise Nirvana nor do I promise and escape from exposure to all levels of consciousness but rather it is a process of learning to love, accept and witness ourselves in all levels of consciousness but to then choose, to live in the higher realms. If we live in the higher realms we may have a constant basis have to choose to embrace our lower selves in order to deliver. Let me explain this a little more clearly.
when a person comes to coaching and they are struggling with depression, that person no matter how wealthy or intelligent, is operating at the bottom of the consciousness cone. They are in the primal state of their be. If in fact they are taking antidepressants, somebody outside of their life has determined that they may be operating close to or slightly below the bottom of the consciousness cone which is self deprecating and suicidal ideation. And so, you may already know, to help a person you must not sync to the level of their consciousness but you cannot also stay in an ivory tower and help them by being aloof. If I meet a client who is struggling with mental health at a got to level, I simply work at the should the level of the consciousness cone, one step higher than they are functioning at. I encourage them by saying you should. I may even say let’s try a little forgiveness to get you above ground zero.
every human being has every human quality. And therefore every human being can operate at all seven levels of the consciousness comb. And if I was a monk living in the mountains in a cave I would be able to simply isolate myself from reality and maybe even live 24 seven in the higher three realms. But communication and caring and delivering my service to the world is important to me and therefore conscious communication is even more important. I see it with children that they function at all seven levels of the spectrum and cannot hold onto one particular level for very long. They are more like a piano that you play all the keys. One minute they are up at the top of the piano playing the love to consciousness and next minute they are all the way down to the bottom in the primal state of bipolar consciousness. I recognise that if I react to a child who is at the bottom of the consciousness cone being angry or overly sweet, I become the other poll and I therefore encourage them to spend more time in this lower level of consciousness. So I am really careful when dealing with children not to be their opposite pole when they are behaving badly or they’re supporter when they are behaving super well. But I can’t walk around the house living in fairyland. I simply meet them one step above where they’re at.
with your knowledge of the universal laws, and with your awareness that there is an inner self and an outer self that are always in debate about what to do and when to do it and what to think about it, you will also know that the inner self does not operate on perception. Putting this more simply the inner self is a constant and the outer self is the piano based on perception and living by emotion. For the majority of people the inner self and the outer self are inseparable. For the majority of people if they feel and emotion, feel the response of a perception, feel righteous or having been wronged, they truly believe that they are experiencing truth. That’s how the world works and why there is so much dysfunction in business and social life. But nothing of the senses ever satisfies the soul. Deep in your heart just like mine there is a silence. There is a place where you know the truth and the truth has many different descriptions of which we must be very careful because if we describe the inner world with the same language as we use for the outer world we again make it nearly impossible to feel the inner core while also respecting the need to play the piano on the outside of ourselves through perception and emotion, (communication).
and so it is wise not necessary to to label this inner state. For example if you call it peaceful it is completely wrong. Peaceful is a perception. If you call it love you also know that there are seven levels of love all the way from lust to unconditional love. And that therefore will place the inner world in a state of flux depending on how are you feel about something.
to further explore this labelling issue, did you know that you cannot meditate? Nobody on earth can meditate. The only thing anybody can do is put themselves in a position where meditation might happen. If you sit on a cushion with your legs crossed and your hands placed in a fancy position on your knees and chant on for the rest of your life, you are simply putting yourself in a place where meditation might happen but you are not meditating. Down here in Bondi we see all sorts of crazy things but one of the crazy things that we see our spiritual teaching groups such as kundalini yoga practice, down in the hot sun with people sitting on the beach in white pants with their legs crossed with a speaker blaring and pretending to meditate. All they are simply doing is harvesting the lower consciousness levels of need to by gratifying the ego. Something we all do in one where another when we feel good about how we look, our website or whatever.
and so getting back to this inner world, are use the word certainty. This is the only word I have found that comes close to describing the experience of feeling the presence of the inner world while also excepting the need to communicate on the outer world with emotion. Certainty is again a trap word because it exists in the emotional portfolio as well. Many people who have certainty are simply lower consciousness hardheaded emotionally driven fruitcakes. And so it is a dangerous dangerous dangerous definition of the in the world. Others use the word intuition. Intuition is sourced from the inner world. However, the difference between intuition and fear or any other hard emotion, is microscopic. Many people have said that their intuition told them to do things when really they were functioning out of high-level emotion. And so we can be very suspicious about labelling things as intuitive. Inspiration is another word that are used which is more safe because there are very few emotions that give this feeling. But there are some. For example somebody once said to me my football team inspired me to get fit. And that is where inspiration can be hijacked to justify listening to the outer voice claiming that it’s the inner voice.
Set the safest way to harvest and get to know this inner voice, is by practising the skills that create the space for it to be clear rather than to label it. When the world around me is in a turmoil I go to the practices that will allow me to connect to this inner voice. Let me give you a checklist.
- An inner smile that manifests as a small outer smile on my mouth.
- Soft eyes aware of their peripheral vision.
- And acute awareness of my posture making sure my back is straight, my neck is long, and my chin is pulled inward toward my throat. A hunched posture is a bit of a roadblock.
- I try to observe something in nature such as a flower or a tree or the sky.
- I give thanks for whatever is taking place.
- Change my breathing pattern and make sure that it is balanced inhale exhale.
- I soften my shoulders and hands.
- I un cross my legs and make sure my both feet are planted firmly and strongly on the floor
- I avoid looking at people directly in the eye and if I am with somebody will look toward the area between their eyebrows above their eyes.
- If I feel that this other person that I’m communicating with is agitated I start to breathe in a way that they will synchronise with by breathing in for a short period and out for a very long period as I breathe out I try to relax my mind. Very quickly my breathing pattern will be synchronise by theirs. This is an amazing awareness.
- I become fully present. I stop trying to entertain, stop worrying about what time it is, stop thinking about where I’m going tomorrow, and be right here and now in this very moment in time.
- I open myself. This last one is a little bit complicated. It requires a lot of trust. And I don’t want to frighten you off with weird language. But I believe that nothing comes from me it only comes through me when I open myself with this checklist. I also believe the other person is never wrong and that they two are inspired even though they may not feel it or know it. Many people experience this state of mind and give it an external label such as kindness or generosity but I don’t believe that it is an emotion. It is simply being.
- With all of the above in place there is one condition that must be met. If this event where I am required to listen to my inner voice is taking place in the middle of the day, it is impossible to achieve these 12 points in the checklist if I have not done my morning practice. My morning practice is not Richard. Today, for example, I have woken up, been to the bathroom, made a coffee, and I’m sitting facing back garden through a window with a laptop in front of me dictating as clear as I can something very complicated. It’s 5 am and I do feel that this is one way to do my morning practice. It involves writing a blog but to do that I am doing a lot of self talk. I am doing the practice of parent adult child, motivate instruct reward, and I am also respecting the universe and its role by writing this blog. Other days when I am not writing this blog I might go to the beach and do Walker Chi. Whatever I am doing in the mornings, at sunrise or before, I call my spiritual practice and I make sure that I am in a state that is connected to this inner voice that we are talking about. Are used to go running or or something early in the morning and sometimes this experience was available but usually there was a lot of interaction with the public, driving and negotiating which required me to completely wake up. But even now after writing this blog for the past 1 1/2 hours I’m not fully awake, it is almost like I could fall back asleep if I really wanted to.
this morning practice is considered in all eastern cultures the most important element of spiritual and personal development. In Tibetan healing they speak of this morning practice as if it were a fuel tank and it will survive the entire day. But if you start the day and then think to yourself maybe I should do my spiritual homework and connect to my inner core, the day is lost because the mind is busy and the emotions have taken control and through all this the inner voice becomes dull.
my friend and neighbour the yoga teacher, has been getting up at 3 am for the last 30 years. It doesn’t make her any different but it certainly does make her a person who is connected to their inner voice and able to separated from their outer voice. So it makes her a great yoga teacher which is all about the outer voice because she has invested strongly every morning in building connection to that unlabelled inner state. Of course, she goes to bed at 7:30 pm. She also doesn’t have a corporate job where she is required to jump up and down like a monkey from 830 until 730 at night. And so it’s a total lifestyle issue rather than cherry picking elements of a spiritual practice and trying to insert it into a completely different lifestyle.
if you have a real day job, there is no use you getting up at 3:30 am and suddenly burning out around about 11 am and needing coffee which will accentuate your out of voices and promote your emotions and suddenly you find yourself screaming at the top of your lungs or totally falling asleep at your desk. So, with Innerwealth we have designed most of the skills and teachings for people who have day jobs. I’ve taken some of the most powerful practices from eastern meditation and healing and combined them with western psychology to create practices that you can do first thing in the morning, as long as you can do the self-awareness decision-making during the day and maintain your emotional balance in a healthy place so that you can be fully functioning as an inspired spiritually driven individual as well as, a great leader which requires great communication. Remembering all communication at a business level is driven by some level of emotion and storytelling, the outer voice.
So to close this episode, forgiveness is an illusion, forgiveness has a benefit and a drawback. I guess you’re not surprised to hear that. The benefit of forgiveness is that it rises people up from a very low state of consciousness such as anger or pain, and gives them the opportunity to continue to rise up if they can only let go of the forgiveness principle. The negative of course is people don’t let go of the forgiveness principle and stay righteous. Forgiveness reinforces that righteousness that they are right and somebody else is wrong and this leads to self depreciating and personally harming self talk. Remembering the most righteous person on earth is also the most wrongteous person on earth.
righteousness also has a consequence for family. Because what one person in the family expresses somebody else in the family represses. So a righteous parent who claims to know everything and have it completely right will cause others in the family to suppress their righteousness and express their wrong choices. That means that these children usually in a home are feeling rejected by their peers on the outside and bloody angry about it on the inside. That is an absolute consequence of being around a righteous person at home, and that righteous person will demand apology continually. That’s where forgiveness is poison.