Hello, I’m Mrs Robot Voice. My partner Mr Robot voice is not well today, exhausted from yesterday. I didn’t hear what made him so tired. Maybe he needs to listen to the advice Chris Walker gives while he’s transcribing it for Chris. Chris is so amazing, but you all know that. So, lets get started.
Today Episode 7. of 100 things that I wish my Dad had taught me. Episode 7. “The power that made the body heals the body.”
“The power that made the body?” There are four really important questions we ask ourselves throughout our life.
- Where did I come from?
- Where am I going?
- Who am I?
- Why am I here?
when we are dealing with the first question “where did I come from” we are looking for the answer to the question as to whether the power that made the body heals the body. If you came from dads balls and mums uterus then the power that made the body might not be exactly what we might be talking about however, we could still run back to mum and dad when things go wrong with our body and ask for help. So in someways, the answer to the question where did I come from, leads to your definition of healing.
if your answer to where did I come from is “the hospital” then you might consider as a hospital as the primary source of healing if your body is broken or your mind is disrupted.
if you become a very religious person and believe in, the presents all the omni presence of a God, and you believe that your parents and therefore you came from that God then that God becomes the question will that God heal your body?
Either way you end up asking the question what created the body I’m in and will that creator heal it if it’s not well?
The best way to look at this question is to imagine a nuclear fired power station that generates massive amounts of electricity. The electricity is of no use to anybody if it’s not conveyed by cables to a substation which intern, transports it by cables at a less voltage, to more substations that transform the power to the cables we know that come to the front door of our house and then to our power point and we plug in our mobile phone and charge the mobile phone with a transformer.
when something goes wrong with your mobile phone you take it to a mobile phone shop which would be the equivalent of a hospital or a doctor if we’re talking about the human body. So what healed the mobile phone is not the original power station but a substation, shop, retail outlet. So we have the ability to fix the phone, rather than heal the phone, at a shop. We also have the ability to fix the body by going to a doctor, a chemist, the pub, the gym, hospital, physio therapy, yoga class, Pilates and all the rest. There is a big difference between fixing things and healing things.
if we wanted to heal the mobile phone we would have to go back to the Apple manufacturing and design studio all the way in California and speak to the CEO of the firm because there is a design fault that can’t be fixed at the shop. It’s also the same, if there’s a design fault or something going wrong in your body mind, you can get it repaired and fixed at the local shop but if you really want to heal it, you kinda have to go back to the maker.
the question then raises it self as to what sort of relationship you have with the maker of your body. If the relationship is a human one, such as a God or human like presence that is larger than life, then there is no real relationship to the unconditional maker of the body. There is simply an emotional connection and this is not what we are referred to when we say healing.
when we find the blessing in something we considered to be very bad we are in some form another trying to understand the mind of the maker. If the maker had only one thing in mind in designing that event that we are suffering from, then the question might be to ask what did the maker, or the rules of the game the maker created, intended to be?
healing is the realisation that in every crisis there is a blessing. This is why gratitude and appreciation are so important in the heart and mind of a person who is not well. They may not be in a state to be thankful for the accident all the damage that has been incurred by their body or mind but gratitude is a stepping stone in that direction. To a very violent and angry person even forgiveness can move them in the direction of gratitude and appreciation. However, real healing only takes place when we appreciate the event itself.
I recently watched a documentary about a lady who had had a severe stroke. Before the stroke she was a very good cyclist, competing at a national level, after the stroke she was even better. She loved cycling more, she won more medals and she said in this documentary, that the stroke was the best thing that ever happened to her. The stroke caused her to become blind, to lose function in some physical aspects of her body but in her words it awakened her to the magnificence of her life. She was a joy to watch in her tandem bicycle racing at a very high level. She and her writing partner hold national and international records for time trial. It’s a magnificent story about healing.
I also read about a woman who lost a kidney at a very young age and his mother donated her kidney to keep her child alive. The woman loved cycling and became quite good at it. The kidney began to fail and they found a cancer. The plan was to remove the kidney, which would have left her on dialysis for the remainder of her life. The woman chose to request that they remove the cancer from the kidney so that she could continue her love of life and her passion. It was a very brave choice and the one that she celebrated in the documentary. When you see people who have really healed a physiological breakdown in the body it is a really wonderful and courageous thing. However, the difficult things to heal our mental wounds.
Anger, blame, victimhood, righteousness, jealousy, fear, Guild, envy are just a few of the emotions that separate people from the healing of their wound mentally. If a person has gone through a trauma and they can be allowed to sustain any of those emotional states in regard to the perpetrator of the wound or the wound itself then they cannot really heal. Understanding the mind of the creator of everything, the rules of the game of life, allows us to heal from the original power station and makegood what may have become dysfunctional or broken in our life. It is a sad story to think that people would carry wounds all the way through their life and into the grave. But people do this all the time.
I have been asked many times to visit people who are without much time left on this planet. Let me share one story. She was a barrister, 56 years old, mother of four children, and undergoing severe chemotherapy trying to arrest what was a terminal cancer. The chemotherapy had destroyed so much of her quality of life that she had decided to switch it off and had asked me to come because a friend recommended that she find peace on some matters before she passed. I have no attachment to life and death as such and therefore I find these situations quite beautiful. They are still opportunities not to carry burdens into the grave.
her story was that as a child, in a ghetto, she had been extremely selfish. She gave as an example that her mother had told her how selfish she was and that she had thrown the last piece of bread the family had into the mud in a state of self absorbed defiance. The woman, the barrister, said to me that she had spent her entire life trying her hardest not to be selfish but, many people throughout her life had accused her of being so. She had done massive amounts of pro bono work, bought her children up with the most generous of lifestyle, been subordinate to a very demanding husband and had done as much as she could for her community. It was obvious that underneath all this amazing work and gifting she had done was a self talk that was horrific. In my world, that self talk and the cancer were absolutely connected.
I didn’t bother bringing out the discard sheets that I normally would use because there would be no use in her keeping a record of our conversation. She didn’t have long to live and it was important that we hit the nail fair on their head so that she could have in her remaining time self-love. Something she had spent her whole life trying to achieve through the validation of others. But this was an opportunity to validate herself.
the first thing I did was to question her on her story. Her story was that as a selfish child in the ghetto she had thrown the last piece of bread in the mud. My question to her was that if this was the last piece of bread, how did it happen that the family survived? If it was the last piece of bread they would be starved to death and they wouldn’t have survived including her. As I watched her face working its way through a reconciliation of a story that she had told over and over and over and over and over again to herself at first I look of disbelief, then anger, then realisation and acceptance and finally years dropped off her face and she became really young. Tears flooded from her outer eyes, inspired eye tears I call them, and in such a short period of time the room we were in filled with love. Her entire story unravelled.
we sat in my office for the next 45 minutes in silence. She just looked at me as if Vale had been lifted from her face and dark shadows flew away. At the end of our coaching session her family arrived to take her home and they to came to my office and stood in silence. Nobody knew what had taken place and they were very confused as to why mum, who walked in the door tortured could look at peace and with love.
I never met her again. I don’t know how long she lived. I don’t know if she sustained this awareness but my guess would be absolutely yes. I don’t know if she went into remission or not or whether she just simply passed from this body to the next in love. It is a seamless transition when a heart is open and a mind is at peace.
over the past 30 years of working with humanity I have met some very tortured people. Whether that torture is caused by an event, a circumstance or something else the torture that takes place is personal and within the individual to fix. There is no need to be tortured about an event. But torturing ourselves seems to be habitual. Some people believe that they are not worthy and therefore torture themselves mentally as if they deserve it. There are literally hundreds of examples of extremely wealthy and successful people who have achieved success and wealth through torturing themselves and arrived at a destination in such pain that they don’t wish to continue. Sometimes this deep torture drives ambition. And we live in a world where that self torture and the ambition that it encourages are celebrated.
but to the individual who is self torturing, the process comes to a better end when the addictions and treatment of themselves becomes unsustainable and they must, somehow, reconcile. There are so many process that wealthy people, successful people and even those who are neither can use to escape healing. Medications and destinations and all sorts of entertainment can provide a distraction. But nobody can stop the experience of putting our own head on a pillow at night and coming to terms with ourselves to enable sleep. Sleep is the miracle. If we are self torturing we cannot sleep and we need to medicate ourselves in order to put our head alone on a pillow at night. This is the ultimate test as to whether healing is complete as we trans form from the conscious world to the spiritual or unconscious world in sleep.
we now have rings and bands and watches and all manner of things to measure the quality of our sleep. They measure a thing called deep sleep and deep sleep is very very important because deep sleep can only happen when we are not torturing ourselves over something we have done or not done. And this is where it’s important to understand the essence of real healing.
real healing can only take place when we form some sort of relation with the power that created the body and the rules of engagement that was set in place at that nuclear power plant from which all life began.
This is the end of episode 7. The reason I wish my dad had taught me this is that I have used a lot of my life thinking I was healed but not. Carrying wounds is a waste of life and a waste of opportunity. Self torturing which I did for the first 20 years of my life could’ve been used for other benefit. The good news is that this self torturing lead me to become a super coach. And that super coach is really making a lot of difference to a lot of people around the world who are ready to get beyond the mundane.